MMA (Monday Morning Amnesia)

7:32 AM (Employee 1): *Gets into car and departs to work*

7:33 – 8:13 AM: [Various songs, starts-and-stop traffic and thoughts about what the day might hold]

8:14 AM (Employee 1): *Pulls into parking lot, parks car*

8:15 AM (Employee 1): *Gets out of car, grabs stuff from back seat, locks car*

*Car chirps a confirmation of being locked*

8:16 AM (Employee 1): *walking into work* [to self] “Gosh, I can’t believe how quickly the weekend went! That was so fun when we got to [generic memory placeholder]! What a good time.”

(Employee 1) *Starts to think about wanting some coffee once inside building*

8:16 AM (Memory Agent 1, in an undisclosed location, elsewhere): [Into radio handset] “Subject is approaching the building. Prepare memory wipe machine for use upon subject’s entry to building.”

*Machine noises as memory wipe warms up”

8:18 AM (since the building isn’t terribly far from the parking lot): *Unsuspecting employee opens the door and walks through*

[Softly]: *ZAP*

8:19 AM (Employee 1): *feels strange feeling, assumes its an upset stomach from having had a cup of coffee this morning with no breakfast*

8:20 AM (Employee 1): *Arrives at desk, clocks in*

8:22 AM (Employee 2): [Attempting to make small talk] “Hey [Employee 1]! How was your weekend!?”

8:23 AM (Employee 1): [Frantically trying to remember ANY small detail about the weekend, knowing they were JUST remembering the weekend on the walk in] “UHHHHHHH……”

8:24 AM (Memory Agent 1): [Into headset] “Monday Morning Memory Wipe confirmed successful and completed. Another winning inducement of Monday Morning Amnesia, team! Good work! Looks like Carol just pulled into the parking lot, so let’s reset and get ready to do this again!.”

8:25 AM (Employee 1): [Concerned about the quality of their memory] *Vows internally to get more sleep, start taking personal days and researches signs of Alzheimer’s and/or sleep deprivation on computer out of concern for inability to remember something that happened JUST yesterday*


WHY COULD THIS BE THE SCRIPT OF MY LIFE EVERY MONDAY MORNING!?

#PleaseSendHelp

Broad City - Abbey and Ilana Co-Op

PC: Comedy Central – Broad City


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