If you’re anything like me, you probably imagined your post-college career going something like this:
- I Graduate with My Diploma – Me and my friend(s) [plural, if you’re lucky] sit in our graduation robes, toss our hats in the air and receive our degrees. We take lots of pictures for social media, since the affirmation of a collegiate degree on its own doesn’t always cut it (ain’t no one clicking “like” on my degree, if you catch my drift).
- I Land a Job in the Field I Studied – If you didn’t just laugh out loud when you read this one, you are literally the worst. And get out of here because it probably means you did find a job in your field. You are the rare unicorn of the work world – congratulate yourself by making a rainbow or something (or spread your lucky unicorn magic on those who weren’t as fortunate as you). No one does this. Do NOT pass go. Do NOT collect $200 (if you’re too young to get that reference, I will now go mourn the loss of my youth).
- You Work in Your Job and Get Promoted ASAP as Possible – You figure that if you aren’t dumb and work hard, suddenly an endless stream of money will begin to flow your way. People will be singing your praises in the street and you will shake the very foundation of the business world just by being you. Never mind the fact that you have thousands of dollars in student loans: the amount of money you’re making will cover those AND still pay for you private jet. It’s CHILL. Plus you’ll probably start to become friends with famous people and start to do things like ‘summering’ in Ibiza.
Then you realize that there’s a fourth part of the equation:
4. Reality Sets In and Smacks You in the Face with a Frying Pan – You make an extremely average salary working at the job you have. And that’s it. That’s the end of your story
^ HAH. Bet you didn’t see that coming. And that’s exactly the problem.
And when that happens and you ain’t rolling in the skrill the way you wanted to, you know what you do?
You find a side hustle. Like a BO$$.
A poor BO$$. But a BO$$ nonetheless. By finding another BO$$? (This is getting too meta for me).
You know what the one perk of having a side hustle is? Depending on how bad you need it, the job won’t have the same mental pain your day job does. Know why? Cause you know that at any point you can say ‘Bye Felisha’ to that sad, sad place if you decide that those 8 hours you spend on the weekend earning minimum wage aren’t worth the trade for your dignity or time or freedom to buy the things you need (not even the things you want).
If you can’t experience freedom in your day job, there’s your weird, second option / power play. And then you can live out your wild fantasy of one day being able to walk up to your boss and say BYE but in a way that won’t completely ruin your life because you made a mistake by doing it at the place you earn most of your income.
So enjoy that extra cool $200 you’re gonna make – it’s gonna be the most satisfying money one can get. Because you can yank that time back and be free on the weekend again ANY. TIME. YOU. WANT (to be poor again).
It just means that you’re going to be eating a few extra meals of ramen in stead of what some might call ‘real food.’ But, like, we all make choices so…. #TheMoreYouKnow
PC: Comedy Central – Broad City