Ah, the Super Bowl. Once a year when society requires me to pretend to like sports.
But let’s be real, I’m only at this party for the commercials and the food.
I want to laugh while being solicited to buy products and I want to do it while consuming foods that never even come close to me at any other point during the year.
That’s IT. So don’t push it.
And arguably, food and commercials are more American than men smacking their heads together for money and promotional deals (apologies: “for the love of the game.” That’s why they do it).
If you’re going to spend the next two hours pumping my head full of knowledge about “the way they started this season” or about “the unfair game plays that allowed them to cheat their way to the Big Game,” we’re about to have a problem.
And if you start with stats on me, I’m going to crush up some salty tortilla chips and put them in your eyes or accidentally splash some buffalo sauce on that paper cut you have on your left hand.
So let me eat and watch tv in peace.
Oh. And the halftime show. I live for pop culture every other day of the year, so thank you for letting that break into this sports-filled three hours of my life.
All about finding the perks and silver linings, right??