You knew this post was coming. And if you didn’t, stop reading this blog. It obviously isn’t going to work out between us. You just don’t get me.
Here’s the PSA: Pumpkin Spice is here and probably going to be around for a good many more years, so you need to understand Pumpkin Spice culture, pick your moral stance and move on with your Cube City existence.
Culture: in short, Pumpkin Spice has made its way into every product you can imagine. Soap? Check. Candles? Check. Coffee? Duh. Laundry detergent? Not yet, but now we have something to hope for next year.
In addition, we know the cultural idea of the Basic White Girl (or Guy) who has become attached to the Pumpkin Spice Latte. If you know one of these in your own life, treat them well. They only desire the simple things in life. Let them have it. This is the land of the free (not necessarily land of those with good taste – get it? Like, taste as in the flavor but taste like how they spend their money? Oh man… too good).
Pick Your Moral Stance on Pumpkin Spice: Since we have nothing better to do in this great country than fight amongst ourselves, Pumpkin Spice somehow delineates what tribe you Fall into (hehe – get it? Cause, like, Fall is a season but also a verb when you…. you know what? Never mind. It’s great. And funny. So just ‘lol’ and move on). You either love it or you hate it (the Pumpkin Spice, not my lame/excellent jokes. You obviously love those. Because duh, that’s why you’re here). And once you choose your side, you fight relentlessly and without reason to convince others of your stance. It’s just the way it goes.
Move On: Realize that Pumpkin Spice is just (synonyms: only, simply, merely – get the point?) a flavor, perhaps consider if Pumpkin Spice appeals to your nostrils and taste buds, become an adult and then STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. Becuase your life and time are worth more than this.