What the what I’m out on my own now.
The funny thing about moving out and growing up is that a whole set of new questions bubble up to the surface that you might not even have known were there. Where you once had unwavering confidence (because someone other than you was feeding and financing your life), you have questions. Where there was surety, doubt creeps in. And it’s in those moments that, if you’re lucky, you realize you’re asking yourself “what the HECK have I gotten myself into,” because you realize you’re in way over your head and you have zero idea of what you’re doing.
What one would hope for in such a predicament is an adult who’s farther down the road to turn around and look at you in the sympathetic, sad way someone might look at a young child who’s skinned their knee or at one of those dogs from the ASPCA commercials where they play “In the Arms of an Angel” in the background and dogs look at the camera in slow motion.
Apparently life doesn’t happen in slow motion whilst “In the Arms of an Angel” plays in the background to garner sympathy.
Me: *walks up to coworker* “I tried to cook for myself this weekend. But I burned the meal instead. Then I was hungry. Adult life is hard.”
Coworker: *no acknowledgement of my obvious struggle and fight for survival* “One time I was cooking for my entire family and in-laws while hoverboarding in Grand Central Station and then I dropped my fancy china on the floor and it sliced someone’s hand open so I stitched their hand up with my sewing kit and bought us food from a restaurant instead.” *still doesn’t acknowledge struggle*
Me (internally): *forgets I’m 24 and not old enough to realize that life skills and perspective come in time* “Yikes I must really suck at this adult thing. I guess I’ll go wander aimlessly until I find a fruit roll up or another adult who can provide more direction.”
Me (externally): “Wow! Way to save the day. Good for you!”
*Walks away to find fruit roll up or someone who will just tell me “I remember when I first started and things were hard. But they got better. It will get better for you.”
To those of you who have been around Cube City a little longer than we youngins have, know that sometimes we need to hear that you were in the same boat as us once, felt the same things, felt the same doubts and perceived the same shortcomings, but that you survived and came out alright on the other side.
And to those of you who are green like me and might be feeling the same way, you aren’t alone. I’m here too. Come over to my desk sometime and we can swap stories (and share some tissues, if needed).
An Office Worker (who’s realizing how adult “adulting” can get)